Creative Non-Fiction Conference Questions

11/5/2010

2 Comments

 

1.   Is my storyline enticing?

-Does it capture interest?

-Is the content of mental illness too off-putting because of the personal nature?

2. Do I effectively portray both Wally and Brenda in a credible way?

- Does one get a strong sense of who these people  are?

 -Do they seem too distant?

-Does Brenda’s voice shine through?

3. Is the whole piece coherent?

-Does it follow a consistent, nice flow of ideas?

4. As it stands, is it compelling enough?

-Does it cover all of the requirements?

-Does the prologue do enough to grab the reader's attention?

 -Does the prologue need more background information about Brenda?

-Does the end portion feel forced? Or does it nicely tie up the story?

5. Is there any aspect of the story that leaves you confused or wanting more information?

-Anything in particular I should elaborate on?

2 Comments
Alison
11/8/2010 12:36:10 am

First, I want to thank you for your kind comments on my story. As you know, it's hard to write a story that has so much emotion behind it & it's important that it comes through to the reader. With that said, you did an excellent job of communicating Brenda's feelings for her brother,Wally. Your story stays focused throughout and because of that I was able to learn about your characters. Brenda and Wally seemed like your typical brother and sister, but as they grew older, it seems that Brenda took the role of protector as Wally's disorders began to emerge. Brenda appears to be very loving and compassionate and I feel that Wally may have looked to her for strength.

I don't know much about schizophrenia, but did Wally also have multiple personalities? Also, was it ever determined if his mother leaving had anything to do with triggering the disorders?

I really enjoyed reading your story. Very interesting. Although the circumstances surrounding my story are different, I can definitely understand how such a closeness can form between two siblings as a result of misfortune. I wish that I was able to know my Uncle Frank the way you got to know your Uncle Wally.

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Lisa Murphy link
11/8/2010 08:19:14 am

Taylor, Your story was very enticing. I felt compelled to read more...wanting to know more. I think you ended the story at a pivotal point...leaving the reader wanting to know more...yet the story told much!

As far as changes...not sure I can offer many suggestions. One thing I might suggest is after you stated Wally said voices were telling him to "strangle dad," I might start a new paragraph with your line "Shortly after..." I think it will add power to the line and make it more effective. I am sure putting Wally in a crisis center was traumatic and the paragraph separation will "show" the emotions.
Also, not sure if this is correct...but in your paragraph describing Wally in the bathroom you state "Wash,...brush.." then next time state "washing,...brushing..." I think I would use "washing,...brushing..." in both all reference points to keep consistence and it sounds more natural...just a thought.
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story! I know your mother has come to accept her brothers condition, yet I know it is a part of her life that will always cause her emotional conflict. She is an amazing woman to have withstood such troubles as a child and remain a strong, dedicated and loving presence in your brothers life.

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